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As Different as Coyotes and Wolves: A Comparison of a Journalist Article and a Scientific Journal Article

2011-12-02T09:41:00.001-05:00

Every day we turn on the news, there is always a story on the newest scientific study and how it affects our lives. Today the story is a large amount of arsenic in our apple juice, but a few months ago those same studies were assuring us there was not enough measurable arsenic to make a difference. Sensational journalistic articles are around us every day, but how much can we believe? “They say…” is on every tongue, but who are “they”? Just what are these studies about? Journalists are writers of online blogs, newspaper or magazine articles, and even the news we listen to. Journalists need consumers to believe what they say and will tweak the “studies” to get those consumers to pay attention and money. What the journalists write is not necessarily wrong, but the points made in their writings are often glamorized in an attempt to make an article easier to understand.

A scientific study was recently completed in Northern Virginia on coyotes and wolves, and there are a few articles written by journalists to get our attention to this topic. One particular article actually gave credit directly to the original researchers, which made it much easier to locate the original scientific journal which was being referred to. The supporting website is the Discovery Channel which hosts such science and entertainment television shows as “Mythbusters” and “Senior vs. Junior: American Chopper”. In the section dedicated to “news”, Discovery decided to post this article – for Halloween.

The first tagline of the article actually mentions werewolves in order to get the reader’s attention, but the author is really referring to a study on the cross-breeding of coyotes and wolves. Hyperlinks throughout the article refer to a “big, carnivorous coywolf” (Viegas, 2011), which also are intended solely to pique curiosity with the hint of fear. Large, colorful photographs of both wolf pups playing and a coyote sniffing the ground are displayed but it leads the reader to investigate if these are photos of the new crossbred animal the article refers to. The goal of the author to may be to educate the reader, but the article has successfully been sensationalized to illicit interest.

Coyote-wolf hybrids are the focus of the scientific study, and are the ultimate focus of the article in Discovery News – which the author makes a very strained attempt to connect the concept to that of a shape-shifting and fictitious werewolf (part human, part wolf). It is stated “the scientists collected coyote scat (aka poop)” (Viegas, 2011) which shows a very direct effort by the author to lighten the tone of her article and to make it easier for the reader to understand. Her efforts to simplify the understanding are lost, however, when the author begins to discuss different routes the self-proclaimed “poop trail” were found on. Is the reader to assume these trails are migratory patterns of the wolves or trails the scientists took in their research? Is this possible migration seasonal or generational? The answer is very muddled and glazed over, and this geographical point very well could be one of great focus of the study.

Humans are blatantly blamed for dwindling coyote population over the past 150 years. The author creates a mental image of the coyotes being pushed out of their homes and left in search of a home. These coyotes then met up with Great Lakes Wolves and interbred due to trouble in finding mates of their own species (Viegas, 2011). There is little mention of what the new hybrid species looks like, but the author actually quotes the researcher in saying “this does not mean that we have massive, wolf-like coyotes”. Ironically, this is exactly the opposite of what the hyperlinks within the article allude to in the previous section of the same article (“big, carnivorous coywolf”) (Viegas, 2011). Instead, the researcher Christine Bozarth continues to be quoted stating “the different shaped jaws [in the new species] may allow them to fill different ecological niches” based on the changing prey.

Coyote populations are expanding due to this hybridization, but now the author mentions wolves have become endangered since this has begun and the continued hybridization may just pose a threat to the actual population of “the true North American wolf” (Viegas, 2011). Very little mention of the wolf in this article, or the adaptability of this new hybrid, leaves the reader wondering if humans should intercede to help out with a problem we must have created in the coyotes’ population. Looking at the original scientific journal gives more clarification to the wolves and coyotes and their population fluctuations over the past two decades. “Species that can best take advantages of habitats modified by humans will proliferate” (Bozarth, 2011) is a fantastic summary given by the scientist.

History of the entire canid genus (including wolves and coyotes) since the 17th century is mentioned as contracting and expanding, with the coyotes actually thriving in numbers. Gray wolves, however, have dropped in population from approximately 2 million in 1929 to approximately 70,000 individuals in 2003 (Bozarth, 2011).

The scientific journal goes in to great detail explaining the region that was studied in Northern Virginia. Samples were obtained from Prince William Forest Park and Marine Corps Base Quantico. Despite the extremely high human population and modernization of this area suburban to Washington, D.C., these are notably large wildlife preservations contiguously representing an area of approximately 320 squared kilometers (Bozarth, 2011). Coyotes were first observed at Marine Corps Base Quantico in 1997, and have notably thrived in this region. Scat (referred to as “poop” in the journalistic article) was collected along roads and trails in both locations as opportunistically as possible. The scientific article notes random sampling of scat in vegetation is difficult for humans to detect, but carnivores tend to deposit scats along roadways (Bozarth, 2011). Genetic samples were also obtained from seven coyotes trapped by hunters. The genetic material was collected over a period between 2002 and 2008 and placed into plastic bags before freezing immediately.

Using polymerase chain reaction amplification, this DNA was then compared with registered species and haplotypes nationwide using the database known as GenBank. This then gives a sort of genetic and geographic map telling the history of migration of the species. The scientific team was able to differentiate scat of the coyotes from scat of the gray and red foxes, but did not discover scat from the domestic dog in their samplings. Comparing six regions (Texas, Nebraska, South Carolina, Ohio, western Pennsylvania/western New York, and the Northeast), DNA haplotype frequency were compared and considered as potential sources of the colonization of northern Virginia coyotes. The scientific study found seven haplotypes that were previously recovered in other Canis species and published in the GenBank. Of the 156 published Canis species control region sequences, 15 were identical to what was found in northern Virginia (Bozarth, 2011). Some haplotypes detected in northern Virginia were only detected in one other locality, but others were detected from diverse geographical localities. What this tells us is hybridization has been occurring in the coyote species for many generations as they migrate across the country.

Interestingly, though, was one haplotype in the coyotes that is identical to two reported Great Lakes Wolves sequences. This haplotype was found in historic specimens about 100 years old from Ontario, Michigan, and Wisconsin (Bozarth, 2011). These historic samplings were collected before the coyotes arrived to the region and are therefore not products of recent mixtures. This Great Lakes Wolf haplotype is common in coyotes throughout the northeastern United States and southeastern Quebec. It is also noted in this scientific study that the coyotes with this genetic haplotype also show a craniodental (skull and jaw) characteristic more similar to wolves than coyotes in 15 out of 48 coyotes sampled previously (Bozarth, 2011).

The differences in the scientific journal article and the journalistic article are staggering and practically humorous. When reading the article in Discovery News, the reader is lead to believe the coyote is a dying breed that is forced to mate with the ever-present wolves to preserve its presence in the world. Discovery News also creates the thought hybridization is so rare and the new “coywolf” is a very new scientific discovery (Viegas, 2011). While this may be true, that fact is hyped up to specifically give the reader something interesting to discuss. The scientific journal article, however, shows evidence cross-breeding has been going on for generations and specifically states the regions where those genetic detectors have originated from. There is recognition given to the newly discovered Great Lakes Wolf-coyote crossbreed that seems to be spreading southward stated in the scientific journal article (Bozarth, 2011).

The point of the scientific journal article was to demonstrate the genetic sampling and mapping can be gathered in a non-invasive way and yet still sheds light on the migratory pasts and hybridization of the breeds. This point was definitely brought to fruition with the confirmed discovery of the Great Lakes Wolf colonization with the red coyote in a very classic “survival of the fittest” scenario. While the journalist pines over humans driving out coyotes, the scientist states coyotes actually thrive in the environments which have urbanized by humans.

“Regardless, it is clear that the coyote has been able to expand dramatically through the ranges of other Canis species despite anthropogenic persecution and probably will continue to dominate the eastern United States as its principal mammalian predator.” (Bozarth, 2011)

Works Cited

Bozarth, C. A. (2011). Coyote colonization of northern Virginia and admixture with Great Lakes wolves. Journal of Mammography, 1070-1080. Viegas, J. (2011, October 25).

Wither the wolf, behold the coywolf. Retrieved from Discovery News: http://news.discovery.com/animals/wolves-disappearing-halloween-111025.html?print=true

Day of Relection

2011-09-11T14:10:00.002-04:00

As I remember the events of 9/11 ten years ago today, it inspires me to reflect on everything that has happened since that day and how different my life is. My contractions and labor finally began that day -- for my two week-late Savannah's birth. I wondered with fear that day what kind of world I was bringing my child into. Now, three children later, I wonder differently. What kind of teen will Savannah be in just a few years? I'm already swimming in the eye-rolls and the sassiness of three daughters. I'm still a very protective mama, but I've learned that I need to let them go and let them grow a small bit more every day. (Doesn't mean that I like it in the least bit.)

That day I was the wife of a Military Police officer, living feet away from the beautiful shore of the Chesapeake Bay. I was a baby at 23 years old, with naturally super-light ashy blonde hair. Now I am married to a different Army veteran, living in the exotic cornfields of Indianapolis. Thirty-three years old now (is this considered my prime?), I battle with obesity and my natural hair color has darkened from all my pregnancies to the point where I need to dye my hair to cover the gray.

My career has not changed at all from those days. I was, at the time, a house wife and former nanny that was babysitting at home. I later got a job at the post daycare. I still had a goal of getting a degree. Now, I'm still working in daycare and making the exact same amount that I was all those years ago -- but with many more expenses and a higher cost of living. I'm slowly etching out college courses so that I can get a degree. I'm not convinced of any particular job that I want to do, and I may not even have a two year degree until I'm 40.

The only pet that we had that day was Nanook, a very happy and playful boy who was only 2 years old. Now I am biding the time, day by day, until I need to euthanize my friend. He is suffering from auto-immune disorder and his white blood cells are attacking his body from the inside. He is overweight, lost his playfulness, and his liver is overactive and producing over 10xs the enzymes it needs to. He hasn't grayed a bit, and he still comes to my side with his gorgeous smile and blue/brown eyes (now cloudy with cataracts) and nudges to be pet. He now has two little buddies to play with: 3 year old Marley the fat little miniature pincher, and 4 year old Oliver the bischon-shitzu mix.

I cannot honestly say that I am happier than I was then, because I was pretty happy at that point in my life. I had served, as had both my husbands, the United States in the Army during peace time. Ignorance was bliss, and there were very few security checkpoints anywhere. Ft Hood was where I had just moved from, and was not known for the attacks on soldiers by one of their own.

That day created fear that shook me to my soul. When I was at the Walmart customer service a month ago and I saw three Arab men in turbans, transferring $1000 each to their loved ones at home overseas I automatically became suspicious. It's really terrible, actually, that such a stereotype is in my heart and I wish it wasn't. I teach my children against such thoughts, but I also know that it's learning from the past that makes us better in the future.

I am not unhappy now, but I am a world apart from where I was back then. I watched the 9/11 memorial services live on television with my daughter who was beginning her journey into the world that very day. While holding her close, I caught myself still holding my tummy during the replays of those terrible events as I did back then.

Things come around full circle, but never in the same way.

Busy Bees

2011-08-13T15:14:00.000-04:00

It's back to school time here, and we are all busting our tails as we get things prepared. Although we don't want to say goodbye to summer, we are ready and accepting that it is time.

I have been teaching school-aged kids at the daycare during summer. I had about 16 of them a day, including Savannah and Tori. I had a really fun time with all the field trips and teaching the children (with a broad age range from 5-12 years old) about science, math, reading, and writing. I won’t lie, it’s been quite a challenge at times! I had two boys with sever ADHD, one with impulse control, and another boy with Tourette’s syndrome. (Some were medicated, others were not.) It has made me decide, however, that no matter what I will never teach kindergarten. Holy cow, those are some wild children!

I have still been going to school, finishing the spring semester on the Dean’s List and taking a class over the summer. This fall I am cutting back to only take two classes, but they are more intense classes. I’m still working 40+ hours a week to make ends meet; doing as best I can at minimum wage. (Daycare workers never make much money.)

Savannah will be in fourth grade this year! Can you believe it? She also got her braces on her teeth two weeks ago and has had absolutely no problems with them. (Blows me away!) Time just keeps slipping away with these kids. School starts for her and Tori on Tuesday. Tori will be in first grade. They both have had so much fun this summer, making friends and learning new things. Tori didn’t really have very many girls her age, so she learned to play Pokemon with the boys! :) Almost all the older kids were Savannah’s age, and they decided to make a cleaning service (called the Penny Cleaners) to help the teachers out.

Violet just turned three years old, and she is moving in to her Preschool class this Monday. She is as smart as a whip, and just as sassy! She is going to be her mommy’s smart-mouthed payback, I can see it coming. Just two nights ago, I asked her to put something in the trash and she said “I not a maid, mommy.” See? It’s coming. (Don’t worry, I put her in her place!)

Eddie has been helping out with things at home, and working at church quite a bit. Right now, he volunteers to teach the two year old class on Saturday nights AND Sunday afternoons of alternating weeks. He loves it, and I have had to step aside and let him run his show because the kids just adore him!

I know that I have neglected communication with you all, and I apologize. :) I’m going to make a bigger effort to get better, I promise!!

Fun and Festive Holiday Cheer

2010-12-07T13:15:00.003-05:00

I have a great idea, and I want to share it with everyone! It's kinda a contest, but not really. It's fun and the better the idea, the better the reward! **I'm serious, too. Not a joke!**

Go out and randomly carol somewhere -- a store, your work, wherever. Don't get in trouble, though. :) You can sing or play an instrument. Sing an entire Christmas carol in public somewhere and get a friend to video record it. Submit me the link (upload it on youtube, whatever) to share. The first 20 will get a prize, the better your idea the better the prize. You can perform alone or with friends, but only one prize will be dispersed per entry. I don't know what the prizes will be yet, but don't count on a big-screen tv or anything like that because it's coming out of my meager budget.

I'm really excited to see how many ways all my friends (global buddies can participate also) can spread the Christmas Cheer!!!

2 in school out of 3 now...

2010-08-10T18:45:00.003-04:00

Tuesday was the first day of school for Tori and Savannah. Savannah is entering the world of 3rd grade while Tori is just embarking her career in Kindergarten. They had a very interesting start to the day! I got my times all screwed up and actually got them up and ready for school a whole hour early! It wasn't until I pulled into the empty parking lot that I figured it out. (Hey, I hadn't slept all night... cut me some slack! haha) The girls took it all in stride. I decided to let Eddie take them to school for their second time that day. :) Eddie walked the kids in to their classrooms, a bit before the bell even rang. Savannah already knew her teacher, Mr. Danner, from student council and she said that he "put her to work". :) Tori got a first look at her classroom, put her bookbag up, and then went to the gym where they gather all the kindergarteners by class on the first day and walk to class together. Tori was very quick to make friends! (Shocker, right?) Savannah was allowed to sit anywhere she wanted to, and chose a seat right in the front. Three friends she already had quickly found her, including Rylea (a girl I've watched). They had a great first day, and are quickly adjusting. Tori has already had music and computers, and Savannah has had art and music so far. Here's to a good year!!

If you would like to see any more of their pictures, you can visit here: http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/abideedles/fall%202010/

When do you give your child a cell phone?

2010-02-01T16:42:00.001-05:00

My daughter is a responsibloe second grader, and I shouldn't be having this problem so young. When we were kids, didn't we have to wait til middle school or high school to get our own phones in our rooms? Only the extremely spoiled got their own phone lines, too. Now with technology, children have their own portable phones. They can take pictures, text people, call whenever they want to. High schoolers take them to phone, where they can text eachother the answers to tests, "sext", etc. It's a whole new world from passing notes in class or slipping them into the locker slots. *sigh* I miss those simple days. Now as young as elementary school, kids have their own phones. How young is too young? My daughter's friends have phones now and they are being quite snobbish about it. I will admit, in the past my daughter has had a "firefly", one of those pre-programmable phones that allow calls from certain people and you control who they can call. She was going to Mississippi for the summer and I used it to keep in contact with her. I figured that was a good reason, and she doesn't have it anymore. The elitism is ridiculous. My daughter got mad at one of the kids I babysit because they were answering texts when she was playing with them. Should second graders have to deal with that? Seriously? Do we need to teach cell phone etiquette in preschool? Does your kid have a cell? When would you consider your kid responsible enough for a phone? When is it too young?

Technorati Tags: kids and cell phones,children and cell phones,cell phones,childhood responsibility

A Mommy Nightmare

2010-01-18T15:59:00.001-05:00

It was about 3:30 and it quickly became one of my worst mommy moments. I was getting the kids up from nap, one of the most chaotic parts of the day. I looked over and it seemed to be in slow motion. My 18 month old had a prescription bottle in her hands: lid in one hand and the allegedly child-proof lid in the other. Her mouth was chewing my pills. I ran over there and pulled out about two mostly-dissolved tablets out of her mouth. After Poison Control told me to "drive carefully" to the ER, we spent the whole night doing nothing. They ran EKGs to make sure that her heart was functioning the right way, and they did bloodwork tests on her to check various other things. Violet went from being her rambunctious self (she had just woken up from a nap herself) to a very sluggish and out-of-it child who, frankly, was as drugged as she looked. I was petrified, breaking down a few times in the ER waiting room. I had no idea what was happening to her and terrifying thoughts just kept flying through. We were transferred to St Francis South because Community was slammed full. SHe had a nice room in the Pediatrics wing, with toys and a sippy of milk waiting for her in the crib. We had great nurses too. It really was just a waiting game from there. She was observed for about 18 hours and was let go. That entire time was essentially spent with her sleeping. She would wake up a little bit here and there, play or fuss, and then pass back out again. Once she was sent home, she still slept most of the time for about two days and was cranky when she was awake. I'm very thankful for all the prayers and concerns that followed us during this frightening ordeal. It was truly God who kept it from being much worse than it turned out to be. She continues to get better every day, although she still prefers to be held and rocked to sleep now.

Multi-moms better?

2010-01-08T15:35:00.000-05:00

Parents of just one kid. They are so in love with their first-born they can’t imagine having another. Or quite possibly can’t have another kid. Whatever the reason, they have only one child.

Once child to devote all their love, attention, finances, future, money on.

Then there are the parents of more than one kid. Sometimes it’s just one other kid, sometimes it’s more than four total kids. There’s always something going on in someone’s life for the parent to be involved in. There are fights, friendships, accomplishments and let-downs,.. all the things that big families have.

So which do you think makes the more challenging, more rewarding parent? The parent who is totally invested in their single child? Are the accomplishments and rewards that much sweeter? Are the let downs more disappointing?

But the parent with many kids, is that more taxing? Do they feel disappointments because they can’t devote themselves as much to one child at a time? Are they luckier because they get “second chances” with stages? Is their job truly harder, or easier because they have other children to help out?

Now please don’t take me the wrong way, I’m not calling out anyone here. Rather, I would like to open a discussion. I started discussing this with Eddie today, and I found it quite interesting. What do you think?

In my neighborhood, in my neighborhood

2009-11-07T16:30:00.003-05:00

Do you really know the history of where you live? Here in Indiana, there was a big housing boom a while ago when all the farmers started selling their land. Very sad, actually. So it's safe to say that if you bought a home (anytime, really) it was built on former farm land.

There's a little plaque up towards the entrance of my subdivision that has always peaked my curiosity. Today I was feeling a bit down, and the weather was beautiful so I took a bike ride. Kicked my butt, really. At the top of the hill is the plaque, so I figured I would stop and read it.

The Koch family had an 86-acre farm that grew tomatoes, soy, corn, and raised hogs. They bought it from an established family in the area in the 1800s, and sold their goods to the local Polk Canning Co. Right after high school, Mr Koch was drafted to serve in the Army and was very proud of his military service.

In 1995, the owning Koch son passed away and the decision was made to sell the farm. In 1997, the builders began their work on the property adjoining Sherman Rd. The road was named for General Tecumeh Sherman, who served in the Civil War. Since the Koch family is very proud of their ancestry and military service, the builders wanted to carry that importance with the new housing. All the streets in Sherman Commons are named after places and battles of importance to the Civil War.

It is, in fact, the military names and battlefield locations that drew me to this place to begin with. I am very proud of the heritage of this land that I have now discovered. I mean, how cool is it that the builders wanted to carry on that importance and respect?

I wonder what all the housing additions would be like if they had plaques like this??

PET peeve... seriously

2009-08-31T14:03:00.003-04:00

Ok, one of the things that has gotten to me most in life is people who get pets because they are cute. Forget that they need to know anything ab0ut what they are doing, the breed, or anything responsible. "It's a cute little ball of fluffy cuteness! I have to have it." I am a serious animal lover, and I don't joke about this at all.

Let's take a dog for instance. Probably the most popular pet in America. They sure are cute as puppies, or in a kennel, but are you prepared for a 12-16 year committment? That's how long they live. Did you know that? Did you know that each breed has different requirements, different needs and personalities? These are the types of things that need to be researched before someone gets a dog. Pugs are popular, expensive, and fashionable and cute. But did you know that they have respiratory problems? They snore really loudly through that cute little wrinkled snout and they are just loud breathers. That's just one example.

I have rescued more than a few dogs from people who buy them without being aware of what they are getting into. It's a very touchy subject with me. People get these cute little puppies and then they don't know what they are getting into. They can't handle it and they just get rid of their pets. That blows my mind, honestly. Pets have feelings and didn't ask to be adopted into an ignorant home. They need love and stability just like a child, and they are not disposable. I can't stand this!

I know a family who bought a cute little puppy from a pet store. They had him for a few months, couldn 't potty-train him, and were going to get rid of him. We took him in. That's how we got Oliver. I was home on bedrest, and it took me two weeks to house break him.

This same family now just bought a puppy Lab. Have you ever had a lab puppy? They are very high maintenance, high energy and absolutely HAVE to be trained in order to be the perfect family dog that everyone thinks they are. I had one that wasn't trained and darn well near neurotic, and I had to take care of another one when I was a nanny. I have seen them eat holes in walls, jump through second floor windows, and destroy $2k tables. For a family who can't even potty train and is living in a rental home, I am very worried about this puppy.

Why, oh why, do people do this? PETS ARE NOT DISPOSABLE!!

The Pied Piper

2009-08-22T21:12:00.003-04:00

Have you ever been out somewhere and you notice that all the children seem to hang out with someone individual? Usually it's a teen or pre-teen that steps in and has all the fun, but as a parent (or even someone who doesn't have kids) you are quietly thankful that someone is entertaining the kids. Have you ever wondered how that particular person is designated? Is it a big sister or babysitter of someone? Does this person walk up to a child and says "Let's go play. Hey, and go get all your buddies too."?

The story of the Pied Piper is one that we all know from childhood. Pied actually means "wearing many colored patches", so it has nothing to do with the abduction of the children. But rather this poor man (we can assume) just plays his flute and the children all follow him everywhere he goes.

Children have always seemed to flock to people who have a certain essence about them. There are those of us who apparently exude this child-attracting "pheromone" of sorts and the little ones can tell who we are and just ask us to play. Or is it that we understand those children a bit more, and are there giving them that little extra bit of attention and compassion in a crowd of people? Maybe there is this little neon sign over our heads that only kids can see. Whatever the reason, I am one of those people and I have been forever.

When I was very young, I can recall going to my Great-Aunt Joyce's house on many occasions. One of these times, she was watching her grandson Grant. He was still in diapers and I believe I was in elementary school. We got along very well and just started playing. It was just a natural thing, like we knew eachother or something. I heard Aunt Joyce say later that Grant never takes to anyone like that, and that I must have some sort of gift with children. (I just found out yesterday that Grant is 21 and engaged to be married!)

I have always been the neighborhood babysitter, and the one that was passed around the church to watch kids. My parents trusted me with my younger siblings, and my babysitting neighbor would have me watch her kids if she had an appointment or something. I didn't really think about "liking" kids, it was just part of life. I had grown up that way.

As an adult, it took me a while to determine what it was that I really loved doing and that was after teaching high schoolers how to dance. I really felt alive when I taught, but then it took me a while to determine still that it was the younger children that I really had the connection with. When I was told after getting married that I wouldn't be able to have children, I filled the void by becoming a nanny to a baby. That's when it hit me... and that was also the same time frame I got pregnant. (Haha) I've been working with little ones in a daycare ever since.

But everywhere I go, the children find me.

Have you ever seen Stephen King's "Sleepwalkers"? Yeah, they're like the cats.

I go to funerals, there they are. I go to church, there they are. I go to family functions, they're there. Parties with strangers and their children? Yep, they find me there too. It might be the mommy-vibe, or the fact that I have very clingy children, that lets them know that I'm alright. I don't go seeking them out. I don't tell them to get their buddies. My kids don't even invite them over to me. They can just sense that I'm a "safe one", I guess.

I'm not complaining. I love kids. I love the kids I watch in my home, I love all my nieces and nephews, and I love all my friends' kids. I have a big heart.

I wonder how the Pied Piper felt.

Manicured coming of age

2009-06-12T22:00:00.001-04:00

How old is old enough to take your daughter to the nail salon?

Oldest has been painting her nails herself since she was two. Middle has since she was about three. I'm a bit liberal when it comes to allowing my girls to experience certain things. I believe that if they are allowed to play with make-up and nail polish, and taught the proper dos and donts, they won't sneak around with it later on. I also think that it fosters a more open line of communication between the parent and child, where they would feel more comfortable asking questions about other things later on. I also dye their hair magenta in the summertime. Lol You're only a kid once, you know?

Last summer, it was brought to my attention that Oldest's friends were going to the nail salon with their moms. It was an odd concept, but I guess I can see it. If mom is going to go to the salon every two weeks to get her nails done, having the kids tag along every once in a while is ok. But I guess paying $10 a pop to get nails done on my girls, who never have their home manicures last a week because they play hard, seems a bit crazy. If I take one girl then I have to take the other, of course. Thank goodness Baby doesn't want hers done yet!

This summer it has started all over again. The girls are all going and getting their nails painted with little flowers and designs on them, and Oldest is dying for me to take her.

I could, but then I have to think about the other things. It IS just nail polish, but is it setting a tone for her that I will give in every time peer pressure hits? What's next, a nose ring? She's got a real level head on her, so I know that can talk to her about each thing on a case-by-case basis. It's Middle that I worry about. I'll have to take her along; it's only fair. She's the one who always cries 'unfair' over everything, and is ultra-dramatic and emotional. Am I setting the stage for her? Does she see her sister getting the same things that her friends have? Or am I just over-thinking again?

I suppose tomorrow I will go to a small little walmart salon and get their nails painted. As for the other stuff, I'm just gonna pray... I know I have a very long road ahead of me!

To pay, or not to pay?

2009-05-26T22:41:00.001-04:00

There is a debate among parents: should you give your child an allowance? How much should you give them? When do you start to give them money? Do you use it as a reward?

There are many ways that parents have settled it in their own homes, whether or not they choose to "pay" their child. I personally feel that it is a good thing to teach a child to be fiscally responsible as soon as they are old enough to grasp the concept (usually around kindergarten to 1st grade).

My oldest gets money from the tooth fairy, whom she no longer believes in by the way. She is allowed to spend her money on whatever she wants, and it usually all goes to the ice cream truck. She hasn't lost any teeth in quite a while, so she has needed a way to earn money.

Over Spring Break, I told her that I would pay her $1 a day to help me out with the kids I watch. She loved that idea, and was fantastic at it! She has a natural gift with children and teaching, and I love to watch it blossom. Since school has been out, she has been begging me to let her read to the kids or do an art craft with them. Her friends are here at the house (I'm watching them) this week, so I haven't really let her do anything in all the chaos.

Today she wanted to buy ice cream for herself, sister, and friend but was out of money. (love the generosity!)I told her that I would again pay her to help me with the kids if she wanted a way to earn some money after her friends left next week. She was very excited about this. We also told her that it would be much more cost effective to buy a box of ice cream to share! :)

I know $1 isn't much, but it's what we have right now. Some people say that you shouldn't pay your child to do chores around the house that they should do as a part of the household anyway. This is a seperate job that she an choose to do.

How do you handle allowances at your house?

Student rights

2009-04-21T20:47:00.001-04:00

I am so sick of hearing about the strip searching if a 13 year old honor student. Sure, it was embarrassing, but I have little pity for the girl. Let me tell you why.

Students have little rights, other than those of humans. They are not adults and do not automatically get the same rights given to them until they are 18. It's ok, we all had to go through the same thing! Nowadays, students have even less rights -- and it's all because of the changing times. Grown-ups can't just walk into an airport, and many times their jobs, without undergoing extensive security checks. Kids can't go to most schools without some of the same precautions since they are toting weapons and drugs. It's life, deal with it.

So a girl got strip-searched by a female school nurse. She didn't have to take off her underwear and bra; just shake them loose. Do I feel for her? Well, if she wasn't in a predicament where someone using drugs had pinne the blame on her for selling, she wouldn't be there. As a parent, I'm glad. So what if the drug was only ibuprofen, allegedly? Should it be lesser standards? No. I would much rather have some kid get embarrassed by shaking their underwear then to have that stash later pulled out and sold because it was hidden where they thought no one would look.

The girl was so embarassed that she had to change schools. Why? How did people find out - did they announce it on the PA? I'm sure she had to tell someone for it to get out. And to change schools? Seriously? Who of us hasn't been humiliated in school?? It's part of awkward adolescence to be ridiculed by toe friends at one point or another, isn't it? You ride it out; kids will forget. Or you talk about it on the news.... Yeah, that's a way to hide it.
Get over it and move on. People have many things worse than that happen to them everyday.

Soak in the Rain

2009-04-10T11:42:00.001-04:00

One day it was storming while we were in Meijer. When we came outside, Oldest, her friend, and Dad with Baby were all trying to hurry in from the rain that was moderately falling. I looked back, and there was Middle: standing with her arms held out, looking up, walking slow and smiling with the most beautiful look of wonder on her face. It was if she was trying to soak every drop in.

It was an amazing moment, and one I was jealous of.

I used to play in the rain as a child and I would sit on the front porch steps to watch thunderstorms rage. I still love to race out and splash in the puddles before they drain away after a downpour. It was just one of those moments were I saw myself in Middle, and it brought me back to the sweet innocence of childhood.

Why am I the one that has to do it?

2009-04-08T17:26:00.002-04:00

When you have a four year old, a nine month old, and a "7 1/2" year old there are so many times that I hear this during the day. How do you answer such a question?

"You're so good at it" doesn't work most of the time. No matter what I say, it usually comes back with the whole "but I don't want to". Whether it's letting out the dogs or getting a diaper for her sister, if she doesn't want to we hear about it. Life is so unfair.

If I ask her to take out the trash or something that makes her feel grown-up, it's a totally different story.

How are we supposed to deal with grumbling? Husbands do it every time we turn out backs. My fiancée always thinks he can't be heard in the kitchen. We do it, too, if you think about it. Anytime someone asks us to do something we don't want to, we grumble. It's our nature. So why does it irritate us web our kids do it?

Because we're not supposed to. Biblically speaking, the Israelites were harshly punished for grumbling in the desert. If it gets to us so bad, imagine how it gets to God.

So what do we do about it? Is it considered disrespectful or just plain inconsiderate?

I got in trouble every time I complained as a child and I still do it. Maybe I'm more aware of it because of it.

My kids get some big ol' lecture on being grateful - or whatever pertains to the subject they were whining about. Don't know if it does any good, but I dont know if there has ever been a proven method to kick this habit.

Not the "P" word!!

2009-03-28T17:17:00.002-04:00

I was playing the wii with my daughter a little while ago: running, jumping, get a real good workout. Sniff, sniff. Hm, something smells. Oh God! It's my oldest, and it's in her pits!

Oldest just turned "7 1/2" on the 15th. She has always been ahead for her age on all the milestones, and is even taller and bigger boned than her friends. She's athletic and girly all at once, so she gets the best of all worlds.

I was a late bloomer, being tiny and petite during school years. I didn't even hit puberty fully until the summer before my Junior year. Seriously. I always thought that I had time with my kids before then. I mean, she's in first grade!!!

So I talked to her about how her body is starting to change, and what to expect. She says she's already started noticing changes, and we've noticed the moodies hitting already. A few of her friends have "pretend bras" and she asked when she was getting one. I told her maybe in about a year.

"that's fast," she says. Tell me about it!!!

Some blame the hormones in our food (Lord knows I can't afford to buy organic!), others blame better nutrition as the reasons why kids seem to be hitting puberty earlier. Is it really earlier? I had a girl in my class start her period in 2nd grade.

I just know that my Angel is never allowed to grow up! She is so beautiful and smart, but she can just stay a little girl forever.

I'm boycotting puberty.

Sista love

2009-03-22T21:12:00.002-04:00

I was blessed with three very lovely, intelligent, beautiful, sweet angels of daughters. They have changed my life for the better from the first day.

Some have told me that my daughters are so lucky to have built-in best girlfriends, which is what every mother hopes for. For most of the last four years, it has been.

But from about the moment my Oldest hit 7 yeas old things hve changed. When no one is looking, she will still get on the floor and play with her 4 year old sister with Barbies or Littlest Pet Shop. Most of the time, she is busy playing Mother Hen to her sisters- often scolding and bossing around Middle. I hate this.

Middle is a social child who is staying home with mommy for the first time in her life, and is adjusting to the change. Her biggest play buddies now are the two year old I watch and her baby sister, and she longs for kids that can "do stuff".

When Oldest comes home from school now, Middle is dying to get out and play with her. But Oldest plays with bigger kids, and they don't play with "preschoolers". It's heartbreaking for me to watch, but I know that it's all a part of growing up. They have to find their identities. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Like it's going to get any better, right? Soon they will be fighting over makeup, clothes, boyfriends, and car keys.

What will things be like in a few years when Baby is older? What will a third girl thrown in the mix do to the dough?

"Kids today..." spoken by the old woman

2009-03-20T20:51:00.006-04:00

My Oldest daughter is in the first grade and is exceptionally gifted. In her class she is heads-and-shoulders above her peers, except one girl who became her best friend. (For this alone I commend her; I would be naturally competitive with her!) She has had a playdate with this friend at her house, and it was our turn to return the favor.

Friend rode the bus home today with Oldest. They were wound up, naturally, and played around wildly. I had just finished my day babysitting a two-year old and was a bit exhausted from the day, but I tried to let it go. At least they can take care of themselves somewhat and don't need constant supervision, right?

Dinnertime came, and I was ready to go spend my free dinner coupon I got for my birthday from the week before. I tried to get the kids together, but Friend had somehow tracked dog poop into the house on her shoe. There were huge smudges of it on the dining room floor, kitchen floor, and up the stairs to the bathroom where she came to tell me that she needed to clean off her shoes. Lovely. DH is exasperated and starts scrubbing the floors after cleaning off her shoes. Kids go back outside and wait next to the van for us.

Can't find the keys. Seriously?

We start tearing the house apart looking for the keys, and then enlist the help of the kids. Baby starts crying. No- I take that back - she starts throwing a fit. I sit down to rock her while everyone is looking to see where the keys might be. Oldest says that she saw the two-year old I babysit playing with them. If that's true there is no telling where they are!! We had been looking for the keys for about 20 minutes so far, and I was getting frustrated. Still rocking the crying, now tired, baby and Friend comes up to ask me a question. "Why don't you guys clean your house?"

This kid has been running through my house, tearing it to shreds, going where we have told her not to, getting into everything, SCREAMING, and woke Baby from her nap. I have been seriously restraining myself from yelling at her and the other girls for the chaos that they brought in from the school bus. Seriously.

I waited, hoping that she would walk away and I wouldn't have to answer that question. I held back the snappy answer I wanted to spit out, then the remark that would scold her. Swallowed back my frustration, took a breath, and then I told her "Because we have five people in this house and things get a bit crazy around here". I sent the kids upstairs to look for the keys, and to give me a break.

About ten minutes later, keys still not found, I went up to the girls room to look. Disaster area, but it's not all their fault. (Trust me on this one.) Frustrated and very hungry at this point, I yelled for the girls to get up to their room right now. I told them that they needed to pick up their clothes and dress-up immediately, and that it would help them to keep track of things if their room were to stay clean. They both started cleaning when Friend asks me another charming question. "If the mess is all Middle's fault, then why does Oldest have to clean it?"

I drew in another deep breath and explained to this only child that it wasn't all Middle's fault, and that when you share a room you share responsibility for it.

My thoughts wandered to when I was a child, and at my friends' houses for play dates. I tried to avoid the parents because I was afraid of them. Really. They were tall, looming figures that I addressed by "Karen's mom" and would try to not even be in the same room with them. I whispered when I was around them. If I had a question, I would call my friends into another room, where I would ask them to ask their moms or dads if we could have that piece of candy on the counter. I never dreamed of speaking to them to ask for something, and I was always on my best manners because I knew they would tell my parents...

Oldest's friends directly call me Abby (without asking otherwise. It's ok, but that's not the point.) and this is far from the first time that I have been addressed by them as if I were a buddy and not an authority figure. When I was at the school teaching, there were many times that I called them out on treating me as a teacher. It was very seldom that they crossed that line, though. Is this phenomenon reflective of children's disrespect for authority in this generation? Yes, children are only going to do what they are taught, but if they aren't taught a certain amount of restraint and respect how will they ever learn what is appropriate? Will they grow up to talk to their bosses like this?

Perhaps I was wrong by not correcting her, but I felt as if I was not in the right frame of mind at the time to do so. Friend is apparently an only child who, from what I have observed, gets all of her mother's attention. I would have expected much better out of her. Or perhaps I'm just being a grouch about innocent questions asked by a very young child who isn't used to large family life.

After an hour of looking for the keys, I called her mom and explained that I hadn't fed her yet and that she would need to come pick her up and feed her. It was 8 o'clock. A few minutes later, I found the keys on my desk.

Why I'm doing this

2009-03-20T20:40:00.002-04:00

Ok, so it may make me into someone trendy that is just jumping into the blogging world.

I have been journaling forever about my life with my family.. about 11 years to be exact. I have been told by many that they enjoy reading my writings and that I should do something about it. For me, it's practically been therapeutical to put my thoughts down on "paper".

Tonight I had an epiphany of sorts, and decided that I should go ahead and put down my thoughts into a more informal and public format so that I can be a bit more candid. So if I blog about my life like this, I am going to be a bit more vague about the specifics to ensure the privacy of my loved ones. This also gives me a bit more anonymity. Hopefully, I can get some readers to empathize with me and we can help eachother better understand the madness of parenthood!!